Squirrel Conspiracy Info Portal
Flash of News!
- January 20, 2017: after analyzing a strand of Trump’s hair, we’ve confirmed that the 3 elusive squirrels from the 42 are posing as Trump’s hair. Not only that, but they are controlling his mind and actions. Read more here.
- We’ve recently come under cyber attack from the 42’s top financial advisors gone hacker. This is why the site was down for a bit and may appear a bit different, but mostly the same.
- The ‘Deranged 42 Intern Program’ squirrel alert is still Chartreuse, and no-one really knows why. Read More
- The ‘Deranged 42 Intern Program’ squirrel alert has been raised to Chartreuse. Read More
- We are still awaiting intel on the missing top 3 of the 42. It is estimated that there is approximately 4 billion kilometers of red tape will need to be passed, shredded, and otherwise waded through before we have the most up-to-date information. Please standby for more information.
EDUCATE YOURSELF NOW – Read the Profiles of most of the 42 squirrels who are plotting the grandest conspiracy for world domination ever, including the future.
What is this site and why was it created?
We’ve uncovered one of the most significant conspiracies in the history of mankind.
We want to let everyone know what is happening: A Squirrel Takeover Conspiracy is being plotted and executed (subtly for now) at this very moment.
This site has been created for but not even close to limited to the following reasons:
- Make everyone, including farm animals in Maryland, if indeed there are any, are aware that it is not all squirrels that are conspiring. It’s just the 42 and their 42,000 employees, who are mostly squirrels and a few disgruntled llamas.
- Make everyone aware of who they are, what their intentions are, and more importantly, what you can do to help stop the conspiracy.
- Make the world a safer, more peaceful place to live in so we can all eat root beer flavored jelly beans and watch our favorite shows.
How You Can Help
- Get Educated – Keep yourself updated regularly by visiting regularly. A good place to start is the 42 Profiles section, which contains biographical information related to many of the 42 conspiring to take over the world.
- Educate Others – Let them know about the squirrel conspiracy.
- Post ANY suspicious behavior here, especially if you have actual sighted squirrels in aberrant behavior (See ‘Worldwide Squirrel Sightings‘ section)
Who the &%# are we?
We’re part of the “For the Most Part Human Journalists Against Oppressive Fickle Fascism Stuff,” or FTMPHJAOFS for short, or JAOFFS for shorter. We’ve uncovered the conspiracy, initiated by 42 squirrels who are actively planning to rule the world and other planets. Our sole charge is to stop the takeover, and we’ll stop at nothing in order to stop it.